Yesterday I was reading a letter that was sent to me by one of the men I hold highest in my life, one of the men I respect most. Brandon Smith was my youth minister for the beginning part of my walk with God and Brandon has coached me through some of the craziest of times.
In his letter he writes,
"A Servant's heart. When I think about you, that's what I think about. You know to lead others that's what it takes. The heart of a leader that doesn't whence when facing the impossible. Exactly who am I kidding? Of course the leader whences. If they didn't whence then they wouldn't be a servant would they?"Now that hits me hard, because often times I think that I can't show pain, I can't whence in the face of danger to keep myself strong. Everybody does it, everybody wants to look like they are on top of their game, know what's going on in their life and have a firm grip on it. But truth-be-told that's not true most of the time. Everybody doesn't have control of their life all the time. And some of us, including me, get flustered and panic because of it. I don't tell a lot of people my problems because I want to seem strong to people, I think that if I help myself through all my problems then I will become stronger and know how to handle it next time.
But I constantly forget what Brandon is telling me in his opening paragraph above. "Of course the leader whences. If they didn't whence then they wouldn't be a servant would they?" So wait, is this telling me it's ok to show faults and pain? And that when I show faults it's preparing me BETTER for my future rather than holding it in? That blows my mind! It's telling me what I think about holding my problems in isn't the best way to go about it!
Why would that be so though? I mean, letting other people know of my problems and show them my fear actually helps me? But what I forget about, is that you have to go through trials in your life to get to a higher point. And you can't go through those trials alone or you'll just be worn out, tired of life, and problems.
The leader spirit isn't in all of us, I'm not going to lie and say it is. But if you have it and you know you have it, don't be scared to show people you're human! If you keep the servants heart, and become the leader you want to be, you'll be much more highly respected by the people you lead, rather than if they think you're some cyborgsuperhuman who has no feelings :-P.
::EDIT:: In response to Livz's comment about "What kind of a leader am I talking about here", I would say that the leader I'm talking about is the type that people don't look at as a leader. I know it sounds weird, but that's how I feel. If you throw yourself out there as a leader people begin to look at you differently. Relying on your every move to guide them, don't get me wrong, that's what not a bad thing but sometimes it's not the best either. If you can manage to be a leader and not get people to look at you that way, then that's when you know you're doing something right. If you can help people out, but they still look at you as they are even with you and you're not better than them then you're doing something right. That's where a servant's heart comes in. A heart that can handle faults, pain, and pressure but still manage to not think they are better than anybody.
